I did it!

I successfully completed the three-month shopping cleanse! Yay! On the one hand, I certainly took advantage of every single loophole in my self-prescribed laws of shoplessness but on the other, I really truly did not buy myself one clothing, shoe, or accessory item in three months. Let's recap:

Black featherweight tee w/ sequined pocket - $0 with coupon
Gray flyaway cropped cardi - $0 with coupon
Tan yoga foldover pants - $0 with coupon
Blue cheeky panty - $0 with coupon
Pink leopard panty - $0 with coupon
Black leather over-the-knee boots - $0 gift!
Grand Total spent on clothes/shoes/accessories: $0!

I can't remember what I had for breakfast this morning, so I may be missing some of my goods from the past three months but the balance is the same. More importantly, I have been at the mall yesterday and today -- testing the waters, if you will -- and shockingly discovered that shopping has lost some of its allure!

Before the cleanse, shopping was its own hobby for me. I would travel far and wide -- up to three hours -- to get to stores we don't have locally or to find a great outlet sale. I had outstanding debt on my Express, Kohl's, and Victoria's Secret credit cards. I would buy things just because they were on sale, or a color I didn't already own, or for a specific occasion with no plans to wear them again, or because I imagined Carrie Bradshaw would wear it. On top of the problem that Carrie is fictitious and SJP has a stylist for the show (should I be fashion-fantasizing about Patricia Field, perhaps?), I also blew all of my income on clothes.

Small sidebar - how unfair is it that Carrie Bradshaw, freelance writer with what appears to be no steady job besides the stint at vogue and the occasional book release, can afford a Manhattan apartment with a walk-in closet as well as an oil-heir's inheritance worth of chanel, dior, prada, manolo blahnik, and christian loubitain? Meanwhile I make a pretty damn respectable living for a yuppie fresh out of college and when I go a little wild at Express I end up so strapped by the 30th I contemplate how much I might make from donating my eggs!

After the cleanse, the change is tangible. Tonight, for example: I was in the mall for three hours and left with only handsoap & a small candle. I started with a pedicure - if you live near Worcester, MA, check out my review of Creative Nails & Spa at Soloman Pond Mall here. Then I wandered around for a bit: checked out new UGGs at Journey's, vintage Versace sunglasses at Sunglass Hut, even picked out a few tank tops at Express, but it wasn't the same as before! I think this is a good thing -- if my desire for something is so strong that it overpowers my newly developed shopping ambivalence, then it must mean I really want it. That was not the case tonight, but I think that was always the ultimate goal: to overcome the shopping reflex.

Mission: Accomplished.

Thank you to everyone who put up with my whining, my obsessive need to spend coupons before they expired, a plethora of "I wish I could buy that" 's, and followed my self-inflicted, so-called impossible journey!

Stay tuned for Beer Budget - my new blog and the aftermath of my shopping cleanse!

The award goes to...

Nordstrom! For being the worst-timed, best-priced, most-wanted sale this year. It began July 16 and ends August 2nd, one day after the culmination of the shopping cleanse. Of course, the only things left in Nordstrom on August 2nd are the 2X, 18W, XXS, or teal-magenta-mustard tie-dye $80 tank tops that no one wanted. Even I, in my newly free-to-shop euphoria, will not waste my money on the unwanteds on the last day of the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale. Pass!

There are three days left. I know I will unquestionably make it through the cleanse, because passing up on those $159 Cole Haan ankle booties with Nike Air technology -- can you image how comfortable they would be at work?! -- was the hardest test yet and I made it through with flying colors (although in all fairness, the only reason I probably succeeded was because I couldn't find them in the Nordstrom shoe department!). The past week has been exceptionally difficult and I haven't cheated but I have made gratuitous use of my "gifts are allowed" loophole. Chris owed me money from our camping trip, so he has been repaying me in the clothes that I want. Not really allowed, but I was smart about what I "received"! Short sleeve button-down work shirt: $14, LBD tube dress $5, sky blue cropped tee (which I've already worn TWICE) $5, and a gauzy, sharkbite style gray burnout tee with acid green details $6. Not bad if you ask me, and not extravagant -- I didn't even use up my full ChrisCredit! Only the things I really wanted that I thought were a good bargain.

I have also been milking the freebies for all they are worth. Free panty coupon from Vicky's -- USED! (ANOTHER) Free $15 gift at Express -- I swear, I haven't put anything on my Express card in ages and they are sending me these coupons to tempt me into the store; little do they know they are dealing with an expert and I can spend exactly $15 with my eyes closed! -- spent on an adorable cropped flyaway cardi with lace trim.

Because I presented to some territory leaders at my job, I was sent a $100 gift card. Everyone, and I mean everyone in my office has told me to spend it on the things that I want in the store -- which may or may not be hanging on a hook next to my desk, I plead the fifth -- but I have resisted! Because the gift card has no expiration date, it is not within the rules of spending. Big self-pat on the back for me.

On a different note, a friend of mine sent me this link in the New York times about women who have embarked on their own versions of shopping diets. On Sixitemsorless.com, they conducted an experiment that started June 21, 2010. The participants had to choose six items of clothing and wear only those six items for one month.

"There are exceptions that don’t count towards the six: undergarments, swim wear, work-out clothes, work uniforms, outer jackets (rain slicker, outdoor jacket), shoes and accessories. You can get multiples of the same item for laundry purposes, but different colors count as separate items. Or you can tell us to stuff it and make your own rules."

Then there is the juiced-up, beefed-out, turbo-charged version of my own measly cleanse: The Great American Apparel Diet. For one year -- one whole year -- participants cannot buy any clothes. Shoes, accessories, undies, all fine. No clothes. One year! Even with the shoes and accessories clause, I don't know if I could make that kind of commitment. I got jitters when I signed my apartment lease and apartment-renting isn't even on my list of favorite pastimes. Let me reiterate: no buying clothes for one year! My stomach is in knots just thinking about it. Although, upon reflecting, I have made it through my own birthday, a corporate presentation, many nights out, vacations, and lazy days of all kinds without caving in to the pressures of wardobe updates. Maybe, just maybe, I could make it through a year. But why would I want to?

I think the most interesting part of the Six Items & Apparel Diet cleanses is the fact that they are out there. I read the article about the woman on Yahoo who didn't shop for five months and thought, "Hey I can do that!" and I went for it because clearly I have an addiction and I would buy a toilet-scented-candle if it was on sale. I made my own rules, my own timeline, and went for it. I had no idea that this was a nation-wide phenomenon, and while I knew Recessionista was a cute tag-line for the type of clearance shopping that I lovingly call "dumpster diving", I didn't realize it was becoming so mainstream. Some women are doing it for philosophical reasons: anti-consumerism, separating oneself from ones possessions, etc. Some are doing it like me, to break to the vicious cycle of retail addiction and get back to normal shopping for what we want or need rather than ending up in the mall during a retail craving blackout and having no memory until you walk out of the building $500 poorer and 8 bags heavier. It seems most are doing it for the savings: despite all the reports of economic up-turn, the economy we actually live in and experience still sucks. People are still getting laid off, and the dollar still isn't worth much. Add up all those and then look at what you spend in shopping and it starts to make you nervous. If you got laid off, how much of your wardrobe would you try to pawn off on Plato's Closet for pennies on the dollar of the price that you paid? My reasons certainly aren't political, but I must agree: if I took a dollar amount inventory of my closet, what kind of investment are we talking here? $5,000? $10,000? That's a lot of money to be staring you in the face if you are out there applying for jobs without luck. Just saying...

Amendment 1(A): Freedom of Spend

As the cleanse winds down into the last month of this shop-free trifecta, I've been segueing from shop-free into shop, free. I have been using my birthday coupons (the ones with expiration dates!) and overcoming the obstacles to walk away with some great swag compliments of Express, Vicky's, Kohl's, Macy's, and more. Yesterday I went to Vicky's to spend my free $10 the day of its expiration (!!) and scored with a 1/2-off-the-clearance-price pair of beige foldover yoga pants for $7.49 and a cheeky panty for $2.99. Now I know what you're thinking: "Wait a minute, that would put you over the $10 mark by 48 cents!" Which brings me to amendment 1(a) to the Shopping Cleanse Constitution: freedom of spend. An intern at work came up with it, and because it allows me to spend (a little!) it's obviously brilliant. It goes like this: if I end up paying less than a dollar out of pocket, it doesn't count. I mean, please, I spend more than that on a venti-shaken-iced-passion-tea-light-ice-three-pump-classic at Starbucks, helloooo! And at least I get more than 37 seconds worth of pleasure out of my yoga pants -- wearing them right now -- and yes, that's how long it takes me to drink a venti iced tea. What can I say; addicts replace one addiction with another, right?

So, on my swag-a-thon, I have been able to get: a 4-pack dish cloth & kitchen towel set in yellow because we still have "ho ho ho" towels in the kitchen = 21 cents; yoga pants + panty = 48 cents; 2 beach towels for vacation in cape cod = 86 cents each; three shadow boxes with sea shells as wall art slash memories from our cape vacation = free because Chris bought them for us! Win, win, win!

These great buys have made me think about the future of ColdTurkey: what will become of it after my cleanse culminates and I fall off the shopaholics anonymous wagon with a resounding thud and go wild grabbing discount Aldo's flats for work, clearance priced DSW Anne Klein espadrilles & Steve Madden suede clog ankle booties, 40% off shark-bite 3/4 length sleeve flutter tops to go with my over-the-knee boots, always-on-sale silk 80's inspired tanks by LC Lauren Conrad, and almost-free-with-my-coupon summer/fall oversized short sleeve drape cardis by Elle? I'll tell you what happens: I'll share the goods. Well, not my actual goods, what do you think I am, crazy? But I will share my knack for picking up amazing deals and some that really should be steals...but aren't, I promise. I will create a chic-ocracy with its own constitution. It won't be the next couponmom.com or clipperscrazy.org, but it will give you all my secrets to creating a jam-packed wardrobe full of options: Gucci on a Gap budget. Okay, maybe more like Coach on a CVS budget, but you get the idea.

The new blog will launch on August 2, 2010. Until then, Cold Turkey will continue to immortalize the saga of shoplessness that consumes my life. Ideas for the new blog title are welcome & can be posted in the comments section!

Throwing in the towel!

No, not in the figurative, "I quit" way, in the "need-beach-towels-for-this-weekend-in-the-cape" way! After a discussion with Chris, we agreed that having no beach towels whatsoever and having a cape weekend planned constitutes "necessity" and therefore buying two beach towels would not break the cleanse.
As for the cleanse overall - still on the wagon! I had a brush with failure the other day during ticketing clearance; it has been almost 2 whole months since I have bought a new outfit, new shoes, a candle, something to hang on the wall, a rug, literally.. anything! Going through the adorable Elle tops, perfect work blouses, tailored pants, dresses, a kelly green Daisy Fuentes jacket for $7.20 in my size!!! It was almost too much.

My big fear is that come the end of the cleanse, I'm going to Kirstie Alley in a big way.
What's the difference between these two pictures in pounds...100? 125? I've never been good with weight estimates, but the point is Kirstie got on Jenny Craig, lost a ton of weight, felt great and looked even better. Then she stopped the program and ballooned into "Fat Actress" and "My Big Fat Life" with an extra Olsen twin's worth of weight strapped on. It is going to be a major challenge to not become the posterchild for shopaholics anonymous after this whole thing is over. I have put off buying so many things, updating my work wardrobe, picking up a shark-bite tee, a new perfectly fitting pair of jeans or just-short-enough jean shorts, summer sandals or espadrilles for work. And in just over a month, I will be free to buy them all!

I'll be taking applications for sponsors for the next 6 weeks. Black Card holders need not apply.

Aggravaching

The wedding was this weekend - it was absolutely gorgeous! After all of the bridesmaid duties have finished, it was so worth it. Alli looked spectacular and we all had such a great time all day long. From a shopping cleanse point of view, now I can start seeing a return on my non-investment! Thank God because it could not have come at a better time...

I went to go use my Express & Victoria's Secret birthday coupons ($15 & $10 off, respectively). No one wants to give you the time of day unless you're spending. Maybe I forgot because I usually am the one signing my paycheck over to the store manager, but cash is king. I asked the fitting room associate at Express if she would let me use two coupons on this adorable shark-bite 3/4 sleeve gauze tee ($29.50 - $15 off $30 coupon + $15 off birthday coupon = $0), and she said no problem. I get up to the register and they realize I only have the one item and all hell breaks loose. Associates are paging managers on the walkie-talkies, and I can tell they are all glaring at the clearly lower-class girl who thinks she can get away with getting things for free. HA! They would show me...and they did. I ended up being denied the double coupon deal and had to settle for a $14.75 tee. I still used my $15 birthday coupon so who gets the last laugh!?

So after a half-win, I headed to Victoria's Secret to pick up a free panty with my $10 gift coupon. I grab a cute little $8.50 cheeky and head to the register, where the girl is a little too happy to tell me that I have to spend at least $10 to use the coupon. I pointed out to her that nowhere on the coupon does it say that, and she gives me the age-old line: "The system just won't let me do it." Uh, lady, I live and breathe retail. In fact, I worked at Victoria's Secret and I happen to know that the system absolutely will let you do it, and you just don't feel like it. But for $8.50, I keep all of these thoughts to myself. I looked around for something for $10, but nothing for $10 was anything I wanted - and the second-cutest panty was $10.50 and by golly I was sticking to my guns. Finally I got so frustrated I just left, sans panty, sans freebie.

Round two and a new idea: what if I go and spend the $10 on something exactly $10 that I don't really want, return it for merchandise credit, and use the merchandise credit for something I actually do want...? I think somehow I could make that work. I'll keep you all updated of course.

Basically it was 25% win and 75% aggravation. I literally was bolting for the door of the mall after only hitting two stores! Maybe the cleanse is working, because I tend to gravitate toward the entrance, not the exit. If I keep shopping with coupons and discounts, I think the general frustration will keep me from buying anything extravagant. Ultimately, I will only end up with things I earned through extreme frustration and hours spent arguing about fine print. I might not be spending dollars, but I sure will end up spending hundreds of minutes of my life that I will never get back. Because after all, there's no such thing as a (totally) free lunch.

Creating a Monster

Today is my birthday. And...I am in the no-shop zone. What this means is that I will be shamelessly accepting gifts for the next week and claiming them all as birthday presents. I might even develop a list of things I wish I could buy myself. Gotta take advantage of the shopportunities, ya know?

I almost (almost!) broke the cleanse but a co-worker swooped in and saved me at the last minute. I found the perfect mail basket -- didn't you know I was searching for the perfect mail basket?! -- and it was on sale for *drumroll* $1.99! But we have inventory in the store tomorrow, so it had to be purchased tonight. Was I willing to sacrifice the entire, painful, heartwrenching, presentation-ruining cleanse over $1.99? Well, yes. But I thought maybe I could find some loophole like buying it and then returning it after inventory and just leaving it on hold until I could buy it again. But really, the cleanse would have been broken. So thank you, Wendy, for the great mail basket birthday present! There's mail in it already...see? Perfect.

Since I was on a shamless, gift-accepting roll, my amazing boyfriend let me open my birthday presents at midnight. Ladies, call off the search dogs and pack it in because I found the perfect man. He gave me a Dunkin Donuts giftcard, tanning gift certificate, tanning lotion that smells like Florida beaches, and the impossible-to-find Aldo Cassetty over-the-knee black leather boots! Ta da! My bootiful babies will have to wait until after the wedding to make their premiere on the town, and I cannot wait!

I got a chance to chat with my old friend Gupp tonight. She runs a baby blog -- baby as in new, not as in about babies -- and is blogging about my blog. What do you call that? Coblogging? Transblogfication? Biblogxual? I think its funny so many people (obviously myself included) have blogs these days -- it's the ultimate in narcissism. But hey, narcissism is in, and doesn't it just look killer with my new boots?

So much to do.. so little time.. and yet...

The cleanse continues! One month clean and counting ... honestly, I have only purchased one thing and that was tanning lotion but it was to share between myself and Chris because we were out of the one he uses so I'm not even considering that one a purchase.

Earlier I blogged about needing a new suit and how distressed I was that buying a new suit is essentially out of the question within my cleanse. Now I am leaving for New Jersey in a week and I am really distressed because I really do not have a summer suit and I need that competitive edge a fantastic outfit always brings! For my presentation, I do have a few fashion tricks up my sleeve -- both on and off the clothing spectrum -- but I will recap those post-presentation, just to be safe!

So here's what my upcoming week looks like...
Today - tanning, closing at work, working on my presentation
Tomorrow - opening at work, stockroom inventory, tanning (I know, I know but I don't have any other time before the wedding!), my birthday dinner out with Chris & parents
Thursday - sales floor inventory day (i.e. 50+ inventory associates from an outside company in the building counting units during business hours PLUS 35 of my own associates...yikes!), and the bachelor/bachelorette party booze cruise, hotel in boston
Friday - check out of the hotel, mani & pedi, catered lunch for the wedding, rehersal dinner, night out with the girls
Saturday - hair appointment at 11, makeup appointment at 1, wedding at 5
Sunday - post-wedding brunch, more work on the project
Monday - going to Plainville, CT to train with a manager there, finish presentation & practice
Tuesday - host a shoe training session for managers in my district, pack for NJ
Wednesday - fly out to NJ, pick up rental car, check into hotel
Thursday - presentation, fly out of NJ, head home

... thankfully that doesn't leave much time for shopping! But I stand by my claim that a new suit would absolutely, 100% give me a competitive edge in this presentation and I'm not convinced that I can't find some way to get one ... i.e.: my grandmother just sent me a birthday check AND I have a gift card from Express that expires at the end of June for my birthday...

which brings me to my next decision...

I'm sure everyone knows all those little cards and coupons you receive during your birthday month from retailers, especially if you have their house charge card. I recently got one from Express ($15), one from Victoria's Secret ($10), a free drink at Starbucks, and some % off's from other places. I am on a cleanse, but the main goal of the cleanse is to save money and resist the ongoing urge to shop. So, doesn't it seem a little counterproductive to WASTE free money? I thought so, too. So I have decided that within the rules of the shopping cleanse, I am allowed to spend any gift cards that have an expiration date, but the purchase price must be within $5 of the gift card amount. So, if I find a shirt at Express for $19, I can buy it, spend my $15 gift card and only pay $4, which is less than breakfast at Dunkin Donuts. I think this is pretty reasonable.

Doesn't solve my problem with the SUIT, though...

Seriously, this suit thing is the core of the shopping cleanse altogether, so I guess caving in is really five steps backwards. I honestly know that if I have a new suit, I will feel better, present better, you name it. All in the name of fashion! I will continue the cleanse and figure out a way to avoid the suit, but maybe my fashion addiction is in my DNA (thank you, grandmother Arden). Maybe no amount of cleansing will cleanse the desire to acquire a bigger, better wardrobe.

The end is ... far

So it's been a while since I last updated, which is good in the sense that it's because I have been busy. It's bad in the sense that I have been busy trying to cure myself of this deeply-rooted shopping addiction! I got pretty cocky for a while, thinking "this is easy" and not taking it too seriously. I would pick out clothes at work and throw them on the hook next to my desk for when I was through the shopping cleanse and could buy freely once again.

Then I realized: putting things on hold for later is STILL SHOPPING! *exasperated sigh* So I'm obviously not cured, because I shop all the time, just don't actually buy anything.

So the next step has been to really, truly, actually stop SHOPPING. Start to finish. No picking out cute heels thinking "I'll get them later;" no grabbing that clearance top now and putting it on hold indefinitely because it might be gone when I can buy it! No online, window, or ebay-browsing shopping. Zip. Zilch. Nada. None.

This realization was a tough one, because how do you just stop coordinating mental outfits? How can you control your fashion-centered thoughts? No, really, how?

Next problem: I am a finalist in a competition I entered at work. The company is flying me to New Jersey to present in front of a panel and other leaders in the company. First thought: I need a new suit, STAT! Next thought: Oh sh!t, I'm on a shopping cleanse! This is definitely shopping, no way around it. To buy a new suit would be completely and blatantly disregarding the rules of the cleanse and ultimately failing. So, uh, what now? Most of my suits were purchased when I was 3 sizes bigger, so those are out. I have one suit that might make the cut ($600 marked down to $60 in a Lord & Taylor closing sale!), but jacket only because the pants are gold silk. The jacket is pretty heavy, so it might be too much for June 17. That leaves my go-to work wardrobe. I think--THINK--I can make it work with a black pencil skirt, a cute tank (white leopard, perhaps?), and a short sleeved suit jacket from Forever21.

Unless someone has a size 0,2,4 (depending on the brand) adorable, summer appropriate suit they want to lend me for two days?! .... pencil skirt suit ensemble it is!

Making Change

The last few days have been a real success:

- Returned the margarita glasses +$8
- Cashed in a scratch ticket +$4
- Brought all my change to CoinStar +$30

But, I can't take it too lightly because just when I think "Oh, this is getting too easy!" I realize that yes, it's easy to program myself to ignore the deals at work, and yes it's easy to avoid buying clothes when I stay out of the mall, but the shopping extends farther than that. I went to Home Depot yesterday to buy a hanging planter for the mint plants I got at the bridal shower. Did I need a hanging planter? Of course not. It's not that easy to just avoid buying things!

Even at the grocery store, I tend to over-buy: "Oh, maybe we'll have pizza next week and the crust is only $3 today! and what a great deal on these big bags of broccoli/chocolate milk/crackers/cookies/other thing not on my grocery list". Today I was able to keep my groceries under $20, but I didn't buy any fresh produce or protein...and I did dig through some of the back-corner-of-the-grocery-store deals (Luna Bar for $0.66!).

I guess the plus side is that I completely guilt-trip myself with every purchase and end up returning it -- I just have to get to the point where I don't buy it in the first place!

And God only knows what will happen when I do get myself into a mall/outlet store... dun dun DUN...

Win, win, win!

Sometimes the shopping cleanse is easy, other times it is so hard.

Easy: I used that $10 bounceback to buy something for exactly $10 and then return it for store credit, which has no expiration & I can save for post-cleanse!

Easy: I found the box for the margarita glasses, and the receipt, so I can return them & get the money back on my debit card!

Hard: We had a $575 2 carat diamond tennis bracelet on sale at work today for $76 after all my coupons and discounts...I was literally salivating. But I had to resist! No diamond bracelet is worth giving up my cleanse (and pride).

So I have to say, so far, so good... I'm actually really excited to get to a point in the cleanse when I am not buying birthday gifts, graduation gifts, mothers' and fathers' day gifts, bridesmaid stuff, and can actually start reevaluating my finances and coming up with budgets (anyone who knows me knows I love lists) and seeing my money make money!

As far as the cravings, that is the hardest part. I literally crave possessing things - today for example. Today I wanted to buy: a TapOut t-shirt, a pair of black ankle boots, kitchen towels, wall-art, a white frame, that diamond bracelet, a coach wristlet, and travel sized "viva la juicy" perfume. I'm not even making any of that up, that is literally a list of things that I saw or thought about today and planned on buying until the big bodyguard in my head beat down the offending thoughts into a poor, shopless, pulp.

I may never be cured of the thoughts, but the cleanse is helping me flex my self control muscles. It's like Bank-Account-Boot-Camp, and I'm just getting warmed up.

Houston, we have a problem!

I have free money and the only way to use it is to shop.

What it actually is is one of those bounceback coupons from the big stores ... spend $50, get $10. Well, I spent at least that much on Alli's bridal shower gift, and now I have this $10 that has to be spent in the store. So I stressed a little about this for the last few days -- one the one hand, shopping for myself is completely against the rules, but on the other hand, part of the point of this cleanse is to become more responsible with money, and it doesn't seem very responsible to throw away free money! I think I have come to a reasonable solution: I will spend the money on wrapping paper and cards for the bridal shower gift and my mother's day gift. Money not wasted, rules not broken!

Which brings me to another problem - I may have broken a rule.. sort of. We invited friends over for cinco de mayo last night and I made margaritas. I only had 2 margarita glasses (for myself and Chris - last summer's clearance thankyouverymuch!) and thought it would be awkward to have some people with margarita glasses and others without. I went to Marshalls to see what they had both for glasses and for Margarita mix (I have the pretty basic Jose Cuervo + 60 cups of sugar liquid mix). They did in fact have better mix, but I decided to go with the stuff I had at home to not waste money. But -- I did end up getting margarita glasses! ACK! $7.99 for 4. I felt so guilty about it I wanted to return them today but realized Chris had already taken out the trash and the Marshalls bag & receipt were in it *wah*. So even though it is no more for me than something I buy for the cat, I felt guilty about it & I'm going to sacrifice something else (TGIF appetizer - $8, food after a night out with the friends, a movie ticket, SOMETHING) to make up for it. At least it wasn't shoes! right?

Tis The Season...

I noticed last night driving home from work at 7:30pm that the sun was still out, and then again this morning at 5:30am.. the days are getting longer and longer. Usually this is exciting for me because I love summer, but because I'm on this shopping cleanse, it seems a little unfair. Longer days means more hours I want to shop! If anyone else out there plans to do a cleanse themselves, let me recommend starting in winter, when it's socially acceptable to hole up in your apartment for hibernation season.

I also noticed that exercising sooooo much willpower on resisting shopping may be draining my willpower reserves for other things, like controlling calorie intake. I went to Dunkin Donuts yesterday for some egg-white wakeup wraps (2 for dinner!), and they screwed up and gave me regular egg. The girl noticed and made me two new ones with egg white...and I ate all four! Seriously, I just sat in my car running errands chowing down on these little breakfast wraps one after the other for ten minutes. Where is my dietary judgement!? Oh, I know, sucked up by my anti-shopping campaign.

Ironically, the numbers don't lie, and when I stepped on the scale this morning, I was down (?!) a few pounds from last week (but I also ate like a water buffalo on vacation in Cancun two weeks ago so I suppose it couldn't get any WORSE), which made me wonder about when this shopping cleanse is over...will I head into the nearest Express and slip into a size 0 jeans? Or will I head over to Lane Bryant for a new wardrobe? If I don't start spreading my willpower over multiple areas of my life (and general consumption), I think all my hard work in not shopping will be undone in having to buy a new wardrobe 2 sizes bigger!

But in my defense, I did wake up at 5:10am this morning to head to BodyPump class at Gold's & then went for a 30 minute cardio workout on the elliptical so some semblance of willpower is still intact...now just to keep this up so that when I do finally splurge on a pair of True Religions, they can be a 26 or 27, not a 40 (is that even a size?)

By the way, check out www.softpaws.com ...Cinco de Mayo colors for Ari?

One Week Down, 11 to go

Sunday night and the first week of the shopping cleanse comes to a close. I think I did pretty well; some highs (not buying any clothes, shoes, accessories, or home decor), but had a low here and there (I had to exchange foundation shades and the new shade was $3 more expensive!, bought too much food & drink through the week). Not too bad for a recovering addict!

Going into week two, I definitely am going to try to cut back on all purchases - including food and drinks. I know I can't sacrifice my morning iced coffee (sorry to all of you out in the Northshore suffering through the water crisis!), so I will have to cut back on eating out and getting drinks out (soda water with lemon from now on).

The more I cut back, the more I come up with creative ways to get what I want - so these next few weeks are going to be about maintaining my lifestyle without forking over all the cash... I'm open to suggestions for date nights, fun stuff to do, whatever's cheap or free!

Just call me "recession chic".

Public Service Announcement

Keeping in mind the theme of this blog, I would like to address all the people out there who are still shopping:

Fellow shopaholics - there are many things you need with you when you shop: your wallet, Hello Kitty debit & credit cards, ID, cellphone to get online coupons & cross check purchases with friends, coupon-folio if you are that type of shopper, and your reusable, eco-friendly shopping bags. There is one important thing you do not need when you are shopping: a bad attitude.

Speaking as both a retail employee and as someone who gets uncomfortable when I witness a store employee being ripped a new you-know-what, I beg you all to leave the holier-than-thou mindset, along with the list of your demands, at home. Imagine that you are the employee of whatever store you happen to be in - do you want people invading your personal space, demanding things beyond your control, and taking out their anger over a bad hair day on you? Of course not.

Shopping is a fun hobby/sport/addiction, and the thrill of the purchase is only magnified when shared among friends (or customers & employees in this case). Don't dishonor the process by metaphorically crapping all over anyone that tries to help you get what you want.

Of course, you will come across a store associate that makes you wonder if evolution really is a myth, but you encounter those people in all facets of your life and I'm pretty sure you don't point your finger in each one of their faces and tell them what to do with their measly 10% coupon. Just because people have less money overall does not make you the queen of shopping simply because you decided to go into a store. What happened to the good old days when you used proper manners with anyone you met? When being polite was not optional, and those people that weren't polite were the ones who stuck out like a sore thumb? Isn't it sad that while I am working, if I say hi to a customer they look over their shoulder to see who I'm saying hi to? Why can't we be friendly?

This isn't a rant, because there are still some gems out there that make associates' jobs easier, who respect the art of shopping and are so happy (like me) while shopping that really nothing but a store without a single thing on sale could get them down. This is a request for each of you to think twice before you call the teller stupid, roll your eyes at the cashier, or stomp your foot at the manager. Misery loves company, but smiles are contagious. It's your call.

Happy shopping!

Maybe *I'm* not but...

I may have cut up the metaphorical credit cards & kissed my favorite hobby adieu, but Chris hasn't slowed down: he bought a car! I couldn't be more excited for him - it's exactly the car he wanted. Even though I can't get the cheap thrill of an expensive purchase, I can definitely live vicariously through others -- no rules against that!

Another big change: we might be getting a cat :). Both of us are allergic - of course, why make anything easy? - but Chris's brother has a cat, Ari, who is literally an amazing cat (acts like a dog) & he can't bring him to his new apartment. We are going to give him a test run in the apartment for a few days with some new toys.. but the moral of this story is .. I am in the car driving to go visit the kitty & I start brainstorming all the new things I could buy him! An "emery cat", a little cat house, toys, catnip, you get the idea.. when suddenly I realize - I can't buy the cat anything but necessities! Of course my next thought was "maybe we should wait to take the cat until I am through with this cleanse so I can buy him things..." - seriously, this is the way my brain works. Gotta work everything around my shopping schedule.. which I suppose is the reason I'm doing this in the first place.

Well, I have found that old phrase "necessity is the mother of invention" sort of applies here - because I can't spend, I have sort of found little ways to get around it: I used a friend's tan when I went tanning last time (no cost to me!) and Danny has offered to buy a bunch of cat toys & cat things for us tomorrow for when we take Ari (again, no cost to me!) It's like a little game - "How Thrifty Can You Be?" .. and I am definitely winning!

Doesn't Food Come from the Ground?!

Can someone tell me why groceries are so expensive? Here I am on a shopping cleanse, trying to apply my need-only rules to grocery shopping and jesus christmas .. when did groceries become worth their weight in gold? I did a decent job of sticking to yesterday's shopping list - only added a few things: tomato juice (S&S brand!), special K bars (buy one get one free), yesterdays bagels ($1), wraps (so chris doesn't always have to buy them), peas (healthy & only $1) & low fat cheese. That, plus everything on the list -- which was a SHORT LIST -- racked up almost a $50 bill! What the...

Today should be an easy day - just heading to the gym & then to work so temptation shouldn't be too much of an issue. I think I have pretty much mastered the art of avoiding looking at merchandise right in the eye, or checking out the sale price signs, or getting too close to the clearance racks (who knows what might happen!?). Although I should probably put back all the cute tops I have hanging on my desk, just begging me to buy them... but I don't want anyone else to buy them! Then again, in three months I probably won't even want them anymore. So.. bye bye pretty clothes.. wah.

By the way...

Today will be a true test - the grocery store and Walmart. I need conditioner & some food for the house; I am not buying anything that is not on the list:
- Milk
- Conditioner
- Bananas
- Yogurt
- Eggbeaters
- Prunes
- Reduced Fat Wheat Thins
- Chicken

THAT'S IT! Cross your fingers for me, it's going to be a tough one...

Warning: may have adverse side affects.

It's been two days since my last post and it is because I have slept 12 hours each of the last two nights. I have been feeling sluggish & ache-y and I think not shopping is making me physically sick! If this isn't proof that shopping is a real addiction than I don't know what is. Maybe Promises Malibu should start up a shopaholic program for Hollywood's worst celebs. Or do they already have one?

Despite the illness, I have not cheated at all since I started! This is day 5 & I have not bought any new clothes, shoes, candles, any of the things I would have picked up here or there. I survived the mall shop-free & haven't gotten anything at work -- even though I found some killer deals, but they will have to wait.

However, I have been having nightmares about shopping..ridiculous! The other night I dreamt that I wanted to buy something (I don't remember what) and I knew I couldn't ruin the shopping cleanse, but I had such anxiety over it that I remembered the dream when I woke up, which is rare. I guess all of these physical symptoms are showing how deeply rooted every single part of my being is in shopping.

I've been having a bit of a debate on tanning -- not whether it is bad for you or not, because I know the whole argument, thank you -- but whether or not tanning (which I would have to buy sessions) counts as shopping or not. Personally, I'm leaning towards not because it's more self-improvement, like a gym membership, than purchasing an immediate-gratification type of product. What's more, is if I can't buy myself anything new to look cute in, I should at least get to feel glowing and tan -- and don't tell me that it's stupid because I know everyone feels better in a tan. It's the sexiest outfit I don't have to shop for ;)

Oh, Coach You Don't!

Day two. Successfully completed purchase-free! Although I was definitely tempted by some clearance prices at work & then to top it all off, I come home to a single piece of mail in the mailbox: a 25% off coupon for Coach! It's like the devil has my address. That coupon is sure going to be hard to use in 20 pieces at the bottom of my trashcan.. so take that!

I know it's early on, but a tiny bit of anxiety set in when I started thinking about the upcoming bachelor/bachlorette party in Boston June 8...for which I cannot buy ONE. SINGLE. THING. No new shoes to spice up an older outfit, no accessories, no outfit itself! I am going to have to actually choose an entire outfit -- head to toe -- from things I already own *sigh*. Yes, I know how ridiculous I sound.

Tomorrow I open at work & then am heading to the alcoholic's equivalent of a bar: the mall. I am meeting the bride there at Bare Essentials to test out some bridal makeup -- I already asked and no, I don't have to buy anything. That might get a little tricky if we end up doing bridesmaid makeup for the wedding -- but I'll cross that bridge when we get there. Maybe it counts as an "event" purchase?

The rest of my evening consists of dinner & bedtime so barring any compulsive internet purchases, we can write off day two as done and done.

Day One: Stopping the Shopping (sort of)

Oniomania: often colloquially referred to as shopaholic, is a medical term for the compulsive desire to shop. Oniomania is the technical term for the compulsive desire to shop, more commonly referred to as compulsive shopping, compulsive buying, shopping addiction or shopaholism.


I am, by definition, an oniomaniac. My name is Ellen, I am 22 years old, and I love. to. shop. Not in that uncomfortable, Isla Fisher in Confessions of a Shopaholic way, or a bad episode of True Life or Intervention, I just love clothes, I love bargains, and I love the whole experience of shopping. I even enjoy the grocery store. Unfortunately (for me and my bank account) I work at a major retailer...not just of clothes, but of clothes, shoes, home goods, accessories, beauty, fragrance, you name it. And at killer prices that I cannot pass up. I know I don't need another work-out tank top, but at 60% off?! I would get $12.60 of looking cute on an elliptical machine out of that, I just know it!

I can rationalize any--and let me be clear: any--purchase to myself. And that is exactly why, after graduating college and paying off my outstanding pre-spring-break-wardrobe-rehaul and this-outfit-will-definitely-help-me-nail-this-interview and who-can-ever-have-enough-black-shoes credit card debt and working for an entire year, I have embarrassingly little to show for it.

I know it is a problem; I shouldn't be living paycheck to paycheck when I have no children, not much debt (car, one credit card, etc.) and an affordable apartment I share with my boyfriend. But I keep telling myself "I'll start saving...soon" and never do. Then, last night I read an article on AOL.com about a girl who went on a "shopping cleanse". It described a few obstacles and her eventual success with a five-month, no-shopping program. I was hooked! I love any type of program with RULES - South Beach Diet, group exercise class, etc. Left to my own devices, that little rationalizing voice in my head always gets the best of me: "What's one little fun size Twix, you are on your feet 8 hours a day anyway!", "If you can get through 30 minutes on the treadmill you'll be done..okay 20..okay let's just get 15, 15 and you can be done." It's the same voice that tells me, "Of course you need 6 pairs of sneakers: black, white with pink, white with green for non-pink outfits, plain white for all outfits, and silver because they are on sale."

So, after reading this article, I decided to do it. Instead of her 5-month program (that seems like cruel and unusual punishment, and I really don't want to break any laws here), I figured I would kick myself off on a 3-month shop-free stint. Exceptions: gifts (bridal shower in May, wedding in June, birthdays in July & August), events (concerts, movie tickets, bachelorette party), food & drinks, gas, bills, and necessities (cotton balls, tissues, tampons, ice cream). Basically I am restricted from purchasing any clothes, shoes, accessories, makeup, perfume, beauty products of any kind, and the like. All the good stuff.

Today was day one and I did succeed in not buying anything for myself, but my friend's bridal shower is next Saturday and I had a few things left to buy so even though it wasn't directly to my benefit, I quenched my shopping thirst. Really, I haven't felt the burn of a purchase-free day yet, but I have nothing on the list for tomorrow besides coffee & gas, and they are on the freebie list.

So, wish me luck as I embark on this life-altering journey of not shopping for three full months. It's gunna be hard, and some days I am definitely going to put things on hold that I want to come back for, but won't, or tuck things behind a pile of folded pants in the wrong department to hide them from other customers until some unknown future date. I'm going to be crazy, but I'm not going to be shopping.