Throwing in the towel!

No, not in the figurative, "I quit" way, in the "need-beach-towels-for-this-weekend-in-the-cape" way! After a discussion with Chris, we agreed that having no beach towels whatsoever and having a cape weekend planned constitutes "necessity" and therefore buying two beach towels would not break the cleanse.
As for the cleanse overall - still on the wagon! I had a brush with failure the other day during ticketing clearance; it has been almost 2 whole months since I have bought a new outfit, new shoes, a candle, something to hang on the wall, a rug, literally.. anything! Going through the adorable Elle tops, perfect work blouses, tailored pants, dresses, a kelly green Daisy Fuentes jacket for $7.20 in my size!!! It was almost too much.

My big fear is that come the end of the cleanse, I'm going to Kirstie Alley in a big way.
What's the difference between these two pictures in pounds...100? 125? I've never been good with weight estimates, but the point is Kirstie got on Jenny Craig, lost a ton of weight, felt great and looked even better. Then she stopped the program and ballooned into "Fat Actress" and "My Big Fat Life" with an extra Olsen twin's worth of weight strapped on. It is going to be a major challenge to not become the posterchild for shopaholics anonymous after this whole thing is over. I have put off buying so many things, updating my work wardrobe, picking up a shark-bite tee, a new perfectly fitting pair of jeans or just-short-enough jean shorts, summer sandals or espadrilles for work. And in just over a month, I will be free to buy them all!

I'll be taking applications for sponsors for the next 6 weeks. Black Card holders need not apply.

Aggravaching

The wedding was this weekend - it was absolutely gorgeous! After all of the bridesmaid duties have finished, it was so worth it. Alli looked spectacular and we all had such a great time all day long. From a shopping cleanse point of view, now I can start seeing a return on my non-investment! Thank God because it could not have come at a better time...

I went to go use my Express & Victoria's Secret birthday coupons ($15 & $10 off, respectively). No one wants to give you the time of day unless you're spending. Maybe I forgot because I usually am the one signing my paycheck over to the store manager, but cash is king. I asked the fitting room associate at Express if she would let me use two coupons on this adorable shark-bite 3/4 sleeve gauze tee ($29.50 - $15 off $30 coupon + $15 off birthday coupon = $0), and she said no problem. I get up to the register and they realize I only have the one item and all hell breaks loose. Associates are paging managers on the walkie-talkies, and I can tell they are all glaring at the clearly lower-class girl who thinks she can get away with getting things for free. HA! They would show me...and they did. I ended up being denied the double coupon deal and had to settle for a $14.75 tee. I still used my $15 birthday coupon so who gets the last laugh!?

So after a half-win, I headed to Victoria's Secret to pick up a free panty with my $10 gift coupon. I grab a cute little $8.50 cheeky and head to the register, where the girl is a little too happy to tell me that I have to spend at least $10 to use the coupon. I pointed out to her that nowhere on the coupon does it say that, and she gives me the age-old line: "The system just won't let me do it." Uh, lady, I live and breathe retail. In fact, I worked at Victoria's Secret and I happen to know that the system absolutely will let you do it, and you just don't feel like it. But for $8.50, I keep all of these thoughts to myself. I looked around for something for $10, but nothing for $10 was anything I wanted - and the second-cutest panty was $10.50 and by golly I was sticking to my guns. Finally I got so frustrated I just left, sans panty, sans freebie.

Round two and a new idea: what if I go and spend the $10 on something exactly $10 that I don't really want, return it for merchandise credit, and use the merchandise credit for something I actually do want...? I think somehow I could make that work. I'll keep you all updated of course.

Basically it was 25% win and 75% aggravation. I literally was bolting for the door of the mall after only hitting two stores! Maybe the cleanse is working, because I tend to gravitate toward the entrance, not the exit. If I keep shopping with coupons and discounts, I think the general frustration will keep me from buying anything extravagant. Ultimately, I will only end up with things I earned through extreme frustration and hours spent arguing about fine print. I might not be spending dollars, but I sure will end up spending hundreds of minutes of my life that I will never get back. Because after all, there's no such thing as a (totally) free lunch.

Creating a Monster

Today is my birthday. And...I am in the no-shop zone. What this means is that I will be shamelessly accepting gifts for the next week and claiming them all as birthday presents. I might even develop a list of things I wish I could buy myself. Gotta take advantage of the shopportunities, ya know?

I almost (almost!) broke the cleanse but a co-worker swooped in and saved me at the last minute. I found the perfect mail basket -- didn't you know I was searching for the perfect mail basket?! -- and it was on sale for *drumroll* $1.99! But we have inventory in the store tomorrow, so it had to be purchased tonight. Was I willing to sacrifice the entire, painful, heartwrenching, presentation-ruining cleanse over $1.99? Well, yes. But I thought maybe I could find some loophole like buying it and then returning it after inventory and just leaving it on hold until I could buy it again. But really, the cleanse would have been broken. So thank you, Wendy, for the great mail basket birthday present! There's mail in it already...see? Perfect.

Since I was on a shamless, gift-accepting roll, my amazing boyfriend let me open my birthday presents at midnight. Ladies, call off the search dogs and pack it in because I found the perfect man. He gave me a Dunkin Donuts giftcard, tanning gift certificate, tanning lotion that smells like Florida beaches, and the impossible-to-find Aldo Cassetty over-the-knee black leather boots! Ta da! My bootiful babies will have to wait until after the wedding to make their premiere on the town, and I cannot wait!

I got a chance to chat with my old friend Gupp tonight. She runs a baby blog -- baby as in new, not as in about babies -- and is blogging about my blog. What do you call that? Coblogging? Transblogfication? Biblogxual? I think its funny so many people (obviously myself included) have blogs these days -- it's the ultimate in narcissism. But hey, narcissism is in, and doesn't it just look killer with my new boots?

So much to do.. so little time.. and yet...

The cleanse continues! One month clean and counting ... honestly, I have only purchased one thing and that was tanning lotion but it was to share between myself and Chris because we were out of the one he uses so I'm not even considering that one a purchase.

Earlier I blogged about needing a new suit and how distressed I was that buying a new suit is essentially out of the question within my cleanse. Now I am leaving for New Jersey in a week and I am really distressed because I really do not have a summer suit and I need that competitive edge a fantastic outfit always brings! For my presentation, I do have a few fashion tricks up my sleeve -- both on and off the clothing spectrum -- but I will recap those post-presentation, just to be safe!

So here's what my upcoming week looks like...
Today - tanning, closing at work, working on my presentation
Tomorrow - opening at work, stockroom inventory, tanning (I know, I know but I don't have any other time before the wedding!), my birthday dinner out with Chris & parents
Thursday - sales floor inventory day (i.e. 50+ inventory associates from an outside company in the building counting units during business hours PLUS 35 of my own associates...yikes!), and the bachelor/bachelorette party booze cruise, hotel in boston
Friday - check out of the hotel, mani & pedi, catered lunch for the wedding, rehersal dinner, night out with the girls
Saturday - hair appointment at 11, makeup appointment at 1, wedding at 5
Sunday - post-wedding brunch, more work on the project
Monday - going to Plainville, CT to train with a manager there, finish presentation & practice
Tuesday - host a shoe training session for managers in my district, pack for NJ
Wednesday - fly out to NJ, pick up rental car, check into hotel
Thursday - presentation, fly out of NJ, head home

... thankfully that doesn't leave much time for shopping! But I stand by my claim that a new suit would absolutely, 100% give me a competitive edge in this presentation and I'm not convinced that I can't find some way to get one ... i.e.: my grandmother just sent me a birthday check AND I have a gift card from Express that expires at the end of June for my birthday...

which brings me to my next decision...

I'm sure everyone knows all those little cards and coupons you receive during your birthday month from retailers, especially if you have their house charge card. I recently got one from Express ($15), one from Victoria's Secret ($10), a free drink at Starbucks, and some % off's from other places. I am on a cleanse, but the main goal of the cleanse is to save money and resist the ongoing urge to shop. So, doesn't it seem a little counterproductive to WASTE free money? I thought so, too. So I have decided that within the rules of the shopping cleanse, I am allowed to spend any gift cards that have an expiration date, but the purchase price must be within $5 of the gift card amount. So, if I find a shirt at Express for $19, I can buy it, spend my $15 gift card and only pay $4, which is less than breakfast at Dunkin Donuts. I think this is pretty reasonable.

Doesn't solve my problem with the SUIT, though...

Seriously, this suit thing is the core of the shopping cleanse altogether, so I guess caving in is really five steps backwards. I honestly know that if I have a new suit, I will feel better, present better, you name it. All in the name of fashion! I will continue the cleanse and figure out a way to avoid the suit, but maybe my fashion addiction is in my DNA (thank you, grandmother Arden). Maybe no amount of cleansing will cleanse the desire to acquire a bigger, better wardrobe.