Aggravaching

The wedding was this weekend - it was absolutely gorgeous! After all of the bridesmaid duties have finished, it was so worth it. Alli looked spectacular and we all had such a great time all day long. From a shopping cleanse point of view, now I can start seeing a return on my non-investment! Thank God because it could not have come at a better time...

I went to go use my Express & Victoria's Secret birthday coupons ($15 & $10 off, respectively). No one wants to give you the time of day unless you're spending. Maybe I forgot because I usually am the one signing my paycheck over to the store manager, but cash is king. I asked the fitting room associate at Express if she would let me use two coupons on this adorable shark-bite 3/4 sleeve gauze tee ($29.50 - $15 off $30 coupon + $15 off birthday coupon = $0), and she said no problem. I get up to the register and they realize I only have the one item and all hell breaks loose. Associates are paging managers on the walkie-talkies, and I can tell they are all glaring at the clearly lower-class girl who thinks she can get away with getting things for free. HA! They would show me...and they did. I ended up being denied the double coupon deal and had to settle for a $14.75 tee. I still used my $15 birthday coupon so who gets the last laugh!?

So after a half-win, I headed to Victoria's Secret to pick up a free panty with my $10 gift coupon. I grab a cute little $8.50 cheeky and head to the register, where the girl is a little too happy to tell me that I have to spend at least $10 to use the coupon. I pointed out to her that nowhere on the coupon does it say that, and she gives me the age-old line: "The system just won't let me do it." Uh, lady, I live and breathe retail. In fact, I worked at Victoria's Secret and I happen to know that the system absolutely will let you do it, and you just don't feel like it. But for $8.50, I keep all of these thoughts to myself. I looked around for something for $10, but nothing for $10 was anything I wanted - and the second-cutest panty was $10.50 and by golly I was sticking to my guns. Finally I got so frustrated I just left, sans panty, sans freebie.

Round two and a new idea: what if I go and spend the $10 on something exactly $10 that I don't really want, return it for merchandise credit, and use the merchandise credit for something I actually do want...? I think somehow I could make that work. I'll keep you all updated of course.

Basically it was 25% win and 75% aggravation. I literally was bolting for the door of the mall after only hitting two stores! Maybe the cleanse is working, because I tend to gravitate toward the entrance, not the exit. If I keep shopping with coupons and discounts, I think the general frustration will keep me from buying anything extravagant. Ultimately, I will only end up with things I earned through extreme frustration and hours spent arguing about fine print. I might not be spending dollars, but I sure will end up spending hundreds of minutes of my life that I will never get back. Because after all, there's no such thing as a (totally) free lunch.